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Better

I'm going to have to start doing my notes the morning after if I keep falling asleep. I got in to yesterday on the previous entry but as a recap, I took a 1/4 pill the night before. I think that is definitely the move. I was still a little tired for the first few hours of the day with a little dozing off, but for the most part I was pretty clear. I could walk and speak normally and my brain was keeping up with my tasks - so that was a huge plus.


On my way home from work, I called my mom and we planned to go to sushi for dinner. Not 5 minutes after I get off the phone, she texts me that her friend wants to go to this dumpy cowboy bar for burgers and beers because she's bored, and asks me if that's okay because I'm the "priority". I feel like if I was the priority, that wouldn't have even been a question. And normally this would annoy me and probably spark a fight with my mom about being rude even though it's really not a big deal, but I was fine. Unbothered. I went over to her house and hung out on the couch until she was ready to go meet her friend. Then I took the dogs and ordered Teriyaki Madness on Postmates. Easy peasy.


I don't seem to have a huge appetite. I ate about half of what I normally do from there, but that's definitely not a bad thing. I don't remember if I even tried to do any Notoriety work last night, but I'm going to say probably not. I was in bed by 7pm, loosely watching Rick and Morty with the dogs - I still have no desire to watch Bob's Burgers, which is troubling, as this has been my go-to security show for about 500 rewatches of all seasons, so maybe I've finally tapped out.


Since it's the weekend and I can kinda mess with my dosages without interfering with work, last night I did not take the Xanax. I want to see if it's that or the Cymbalta that's making me narcoleptic throughout the day. Also trying to see what it's really doing for me. Maybe I save the 1/4 Xanax for work days to get me through and not have them on the weekend? I'm also trying to figure out the right time to take them so I can be more level during work hours. This whole things is a weird science experiment. Last night, as mentioned, I went to bed at like 7pm but woke up intermittently throughout the night. I think it was about 12:55am when I remembered I didn't take my pill yet. Took the Cymbalta and continued to wake up hourly. I actually got up this morning about 6:30am and don't feel groggy. My head is pretty clear, I did one Notoriety task, and then sat down to log all of this. So my very short tested assumption about the Xanax being the one that makes me a zombie seems pretty accurate, but the day is young. I will try to do a proper night time recap later with a clearer update.


Just for the sake of metrics, I'm going to start tracking a few things more closely. Time I take my pills, which pills I take, when they wear off, what my effects are like, my willingness to watch Bob, my reactiveness to annoying things. This might change but that's what I'm thinking would matter, for now. I'll start that on tonights log because I already don't remember yesterday clear enough to back track.


I am not a doctor. I cannot recommend (or the opposite of recommend) the taking of any medication. This is just my experience and a documentation of the encounters related. If you are having any dark or negative thoughts, please seek professional help and consult a physician.

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